December Writing Update

The last time I posted a writing update on this blog I was on Chapter 28 of first-edits and feeling all optimistic for the future. 

As I talk to you today, I am currently at...Chapter 29 of first-edits. 

Yes. 

You read that correctly. 

In an entire month I managed to edit JUST ONE chapter of my first draft. 

Shameful 

I know it's bad, but in my shameful defence I have been SO busy this month.

Following are a list of excuses for why I only edited one measly chapter:

Excuse 1: Christmas. 

Buying presents, stressing about buying presents, not buying enough presents, buying too many presents, Christmas cards, nativity plays, Christmas parties, wrapping presents, delivering presents, opening presents, eating Christmas dinner, drinking too much wine

All of the above takes time that I did not spend editing my novel. 

Excuse 2: Uni pit of doom

I have had a lot of uni work to get done this month - and the mountain has still not been climbed. As I write this I still have two things to work on and hand in, plus an exam to revise for. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed with the work at the minute and only JUST managing to stay afloat....so no time for writing anything else. 

Excuse 3: Crippling self-doubt

So this is the serious one, and the main thing I wanted to discuss in this post. I love my book. I'm proud of it. I adore the characters, the story is fun...but this month I have been filled with soooooo much doubt about my writing and the future of this book overall. I'm looking at it, and wondering........

are you really good enough?

Are you the book I want to debut with?

Are you written how I want you to be written?

Are you the story I want to tell?

Will an agent want you?

Will a publisher want you?

Will readers want you? 

I looked at my manuscript and I asked it all of these questions and it didn't answer any of them because it can't talk.....

 I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm having a serious down moment with this book and it makes me so sad. I don't know why I feel this way, and I feel like I'm betraying the story (and myself) by having these dithering thoughts. I think all writers go through this (from what I've seen anyway), and I know it's nothing new...I just wish I could push past it and feel the fire I felt at the start of this project. I want to do it justice, and sometimes I just feel like I'm not good enough to do that. 

It doesn't help that I'm carrying these feelings over to my uni creative work too. We have to write a short 2000-word story...I've had my idea for so long, and I know what I want it to be....but I just can't get it there. Everything I churn out is so far away from what it is in my head that it's actually getting depressing to try. 

I suppose the only way to get through this is to just push on and keep writing.

I've lost my mojo, it's gone...so if anyone finds it can you please get in touch so I can get it back? 

Next month I want to really knuckle down with this draft and finish these edits. I feel like I'm never going to get through them but I want to fall back in love with this book and tell the stories of these characters. I'm going to try...I'm not going to make excuses, I'm actually going to try and I'll be updating again in January so we will see if I stick to it. 

Beat me with sticks if I don't

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What I Read in December

December wasn't the best reading month for me...

there were just so many books that I picked up and TRIED to read but I just couldn't swallow them...so I had to cough them back up again

Are we finished with this image yet? 

BUT...I am currently reading two books that I am LOVING...I just didn't finish them in time to include them in this wrap-up - so they will be coming next month! 

Oh, and before I forget....

I hope all of you who celebrate had an amazing Christmas 

With that out of the way, let's move on to the books I read or tried to read in December

Books from 2018 that I need right now!

 I'm linking up with Top Ten Tuesday over at The Broke and the Bookish (soon to be at That Artsy Reader Girl), this week to talk about the top ten books I'm looking forward to in 2018. 

There's sooo many beautiful little book babies due in 2018 that it's almost impossible to choose...but choose I did. This list is just a selection of books I'm excited to get my hands on next year. 

November Reading Wrap-Up

I am pretty impressed with myself.

Why? I hear you ask

Because I'm a slow reader that's not why I'm impressed hear me out

I'm not one of those people who can read 10+ books in a month. BUT...in November I read six books.....yes SIX BOOKS...which is amazing for me! 

Before we get into all the books I read this month, I have a few pieces of news. Little snippets, if you will...

November Writing Update - AKA Prepare to be Extremely Underwhelmed at my Progress

So to be honest...the month of November was the best of a bad bunch when it comes to writing this Autumn. I knew this would happen. Over the summer I was on break from uni and so had writing time in abundance! I finished my first draft and made a good dent in my edits. 

Yeeeeeah...not so much anymore

I started back at uni in October, and the workload this semester is fairly heavy - at least compared to exactly zero work in the summer - and it's taken me a while to get back into the swing of things. 

honestly though...goals

Top Ten Books On My Winter TBR

I used to participate in Top Ten Tuesday all the time back when I ran my old book blog and I've decided that I want to hop back in over here too. If you don't know - Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly feature hosted by The Broke and the Bookish. Each week there is a new bookish topic to compile a list about. 

And who doesn't love lists? 

This week's topic is: 

Top Ten Books On My Winter TBR

So let's jump right in...

There are a few books that I know I definitely want to read over the coming months, but this list isn't concrete. I'm always changing my mind when it comes to what I'm reading next so this could aaaaaallll change in ze future. That being said, here are some of the books I plan to read in December, January and February

(P.S. I'm not a 'seasonal' reader like some bloggers, so don't expect lots of Christmassy/Wintery/Valentines Day-ey books on this list. I just read whatever I want whenever I want. Oh the freedom!!) 

A Writing Crisis

I'm having a moment.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who has ever had this moment.

So I'm sharing the moment - mainly for self-cathartic reasons.

So I've been working on my book Prince of Blades since last August. The novel is the first in an YA/adult crossover fantasy series and it is my sweet baby cinnamon roll. I have lived and breathed this novel since I first got the idea for it. I'm honestly in love with the characters, the world and the story, and like I mentioned in my last post - I'm currently 70k words through the first draft.

To explain my 'moment'...I need to take a little step back in time to when I first conceived the idea for Prince of Blades.

Come with me if you will...